Adam & Jen's Wedding Blog

So far apart, yet so close

2 hours ago
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iChat is a blessing

At this rate, we're never leaving Iraq

Yesterday
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Are jumping jacks an American thing?

What about push ups?

Okay. Our turn.

It's mostly quiet now, only the sound of my iPod playing a mix of Michael Buble', Harry Connick, Jr. and of course, my Jenni. The days are filled with new problems every 5 minutes and just when you put a fire out, you find 3 more have popped up. I've sporadically kept a journal since being over here, and looking back, I feel some of it is still and will be for a while too personal to share. But I'll share this, in this long-lasting and distant existence, far from home and familiarity, it is still the thoughts of family and home... those things that often seem boring and tedious when you are there, those are the things you most crave. Spending time with family, doing family things, not some self-indulgent "night out" or some event/activity that you enjoy. I miss the feel of my wife's hand on my arm in the movie theatre, the way my mother's sweet tea tastes, or the way my father looks at me when he's telling someone about me and doesn't know I can see him, the motorcycle rides with my brother Tommy going nowhere or anywhere, the fun of sitting at the table playing dominoes with my brothers and their wives along with my wife, having time to just do nothing but spend time together without the pressing of some need to go somewhere. I miss family. I fear that I've robbed my wife of the enjoyment of our engagement or the experience of being newlyweds (well that one I'm fixing, with the "Big White Dress Wedding"). Being here you feel like you are missing opportunities at home that the truth is you take for granted when you are home.

I've seen war and experienced what this life was like. I've served my country and will walk away understanding more about myself. I know what's important to me now in a way I never could before, I'm ready to find life's next adventure and do THAT with my wife. So if there is a moral to this little note, let's pretend you walk away with this...

Love every single day. Love is not something that happens to you or that you experience, love is something you choose to do. Live every moment knowing that as it passes, you will never get it back. You'll never have the opportunity to experience that moment again, so give everything you have. Finally, if you aren't making better the place you live... then what effect are you having?

Corny words of wisdom that come out when and how they choose. Hope you enjoyed.

P.S. The older you get you notice how time tends to move faster? Well THAT is the momentum of life, don't miss it!

Adam

Seared tuna, grilled mushrooms and asparagus with black truffle sauce

Jul 2, 2008
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Love, truth, and the theory of relativity

Jun 27, 2008
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It's been a whole year since Adam first left and we're on the downhill slope these days. Not so difficult to believe we've survived, but I am incapable of understanding the relativity of time: how time flies, but only in hindsight; how it seems to bend and stretch at its own pace, yet always does one when you want the other.

Why is it that while suffering through it, every second drags on, forcing you to question your strength? You're left praying that you'll have the ability to endure one more heart-wrenching moment, but when you're on the other side, looking back at the wreckage, you dust off and think, 'huh. Piece o' cake'.

After all this anticipation, it's hard to believe our lives will finally begin. I am so excited to finally have the opportunity to rise up to these challenges, these promises that, so far, have just been words and ideas, hopes and plans.

Let me tell you a little about Adam. He is such a... unique person. Every phone conversation, every email is filled with his innate ability to express his emotions. He continually defines our love with sincere words and heart-felt thoughts, painting a clear picture of what true love looks and feels like. I am not as eloquent nor as quick-witted. I tend to meditate over things, until they form themselves into carefully chosen words of prose or song (case in point).

When we first met and I was asking around about him, the words "pretty boy" and "overwhelming" were used to describe him. 'Pretty boy' was flattering, but implied that he was shallow. 'Overwhelming' could have been construed in many different ways, both positive and negative. In this case, Adam was unabashed, overt, shameless, and some may find such blatancy a bit overwhelming. Okay. But I've never been one to take anything at face value. Underneath his flashy demeanor, there is a profound sincerity that is unmistakable. It breathes substance into all that 'overwhelming pretty boy' stuff and makes for a remarkable human being. But this is not why I love him. I love Adam. Period. Because love cannot be based upon relative conditions. Love is a choice and that choice must be absolute. I am amazed by my ability to love like this and to be worthy of such a love.

Those of you who are lucky enough to experience such a truth in love, embrace it, revel in it, thank God everyday for it.

In retrospect, it doesn't seem like a whole year has passed. I know there are some battle scars somewhere on this body, but they're invisible, as if they never existed. It doesn't seem feasible.

Yet here we are: a year later, a thousand times stronger, with not a scratch on us.

Silly

Jun 26, 2008
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This has got to be the cutest ring bearer ever... my nephew Max. Look at that sweet boy smile!

Maxie-pants

Say cheese!

A light lunch... yum!

Jun 26, 2008
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Photo 3

My life

Jun 26, 2008
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I don't blog much these days...I guess I just stay too busy over here doing life and the job of being a soldier. I speak to my wife every other day most of the time, and it breaks my heart. My entire life I've been told by my father to follow my dreams whatever they may be and thats scary advice I would imagine for a father to give a son. Watching that boy become a full grown man with responsibilities that are no longer solely to him, knowing that man is going to face the same struggles in his own identity and the same pitfalls as he himself has already gone through. I've had my share of identity crisis and its been a long road to the place I find myself standing today. I always go back to my fathers advice though of following my dream. The hard part has been finding out what that dream was, my fathers was music, and he sacrificed that...willingly I might add...for the family he has today. In the back of my mind I know he wonders what might have been. So the scariest part for me is identifying what my dream is. My wife has her dream of success in here career as a performer, that dream is hers as is what she defines success to be and all I want to do is support that dream (I'm with you always in the journey baby). BUT WHAT IS MY DREAM?

My wife...my beautiful, talented, open minded, kind hearted, caring, considerate, loving wife. I suppose if you know us or are reading this then you know the story of how we met, how we were keenly aware of the circumstances in our lives at the time, how we fell in love and have let that consume us. What I learned recently was that having Jenni in my life, as a part of me, so close to my heart that her absence is like missing a limb to me...my wife, that relationship..being loved completely in the way I love her...that is my dream. I've found my life's goal in her, to love her and support her, to give her the opportunity to pursue her dreams whatever they may be (outside of the ones I know). She is my life, my heart, my purpose. I'm not overly religious (lets call that a mild disappointment to my parents...an understatement its safe to say), but in her I find God's purpose and calling for my life. I see proof of a higher purpose for my life in her. In short I love my wife so very much there is nothing closer to my heart. My life began the day I met her and it was an experience for me that was foreign and new, though admittedly it took me a while to realize what had happened that night. I know now and thank God for her every single moment I live. So its a good thing she feels similar other wise this might be one sick obsession! Hope you enjoyed my brief rant about how my wife is so great, if you haven't already, you should really check out her music...and thats not just because I want another motorcycle!

Adam

Best. soup. ever.

May 14, 2008
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Chilled tomato soup with lump crab meat and celery. Yum-o!

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Hi. This is me 'preparing' to be Adam's wife.

May 13, 2008
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I am the weakest person I know. I haven't done any physical activity since college, where I was pretty active as a dancer... daily classes in ballet, tap, jazz, and modern dance, in addition to yoga and pilates kept my body in check. That was over 7 years ago. Wow... time sure does fly.

Adam enjoys working out and has always been good at sports. He wants me to hit the gym with him and is willing to be my personal trainer. Sure, I'd love to get stronger and more fit, but I'm really weak and lazy and I'm warning him that he's got his work cut out for him. I will whine the whole way through.

So, in preparation, I went hiking up one of Seoul's tallest mountains. What a way to start, right? It was one of the hardest things I've ever done. Just when I thought I couldn't make it one more step, I'd go further. And even when you accomplish your goal and reach the peak, you still have to trek all the way back down. My entire body was so sore for the next couple days that I could hardly move. YES. Even in my sleep, whenever I changed position, I woke up enough to be aware of the pain.

So I thought, well, what better way to use this as a jumping off point and start working out in the gym. So I'm making use of the gym here in the hotel and am not enjoying it one bit. I've come to the conclusion that anything that requires me to break a sweat just isn't my bag. The entire time, I didn't enjoy it (I hated it actually), I found it to be incredibly boring, and it made me tired and it hurt a lot. I didn't mind hiking as much, even though it was really difficult, it wasn't as boring.

I'm not really focused on losing weight, I just want to get healthier and stronger. And I wouldn't mind having some 'girl guns' like Madonna's, only not as scary and butch. Wish me luck!